it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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