I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
