did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Randomize
