Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
