Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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