two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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