Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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