Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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