you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
