Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
