A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
my being single is dangerous.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize