Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"

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(919): View more from North Carolina

i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.

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(281): View more from Texas

I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast

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(912): View more from Georgia

Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.

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(720): View more from Colorado

Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.

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(817): View more from Texas

Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.

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(765): View more from Indiana

I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire

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