apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I will be naked everywhere
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Randomize
