we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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