I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
