Already got asked if we're dating
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
