We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize