Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
