no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
