I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
