Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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