Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
