I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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