You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
