the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I just found a bag of teeth...
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
