Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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