Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Come share oat with me in your robe
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize