you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
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