508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
