are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
