She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
