im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
i think i just lost a toe
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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