How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
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