Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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