I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I party with great urgency now.
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