i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
