Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
