I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
