I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
