gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Just fell off a train. Bad.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
