so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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