i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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