its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
