Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
