Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
