I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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