Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
