is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
