oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
