He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
