Where did you get a picture of my penis
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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