What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
