I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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