When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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