roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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