Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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