Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
