I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize