You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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