I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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